LAMENTS OF THE IMPRISONED



Before you knew of this time of suffering - I was with the suffering you are enduring.

I became one with the suffering and went through its dark passages to light your way.

I am with you now, I was with you then and I will be with you... always.








2005


10-05-2005

I am, embodied death - writhing - in a living hell.



11-21-2005



My eyes perceive only the darkness around me.

My heart has known days upon days of despair and lament.

My body and spirit, tortured and tormented, have become weary and weakened.

My soul weeps.

Why have you abandoned me my Beloved God?

Why have you abandoned your faithful and devoted servant to the darkness?


* * *


My days are spent weeping.

My heart, believing that it has been forsaken by your Love, despairs of eternal embodied damnation*.

{Damnation - Condemnation to everlasting punishment; doom.}




11-23-2005



My screams... are mocked.

My cries and pleas... are greeted with silence.

My suffering... is met with contempt.

My dignity... is stripped and paraded before the people of compassion of the nation of the free, who debate, discuss and seek justify the use of torture and secret imprisonments in the name of freedom.

Woe to you desecrated nation.

Woe to the people of the nation of the free... no longer free.




12-05-2005


My God....

My spirit feels crushed under the weight of my suffering...

My breath no longer deep, seeks not to take in life's offerings...

My heart, cries out in despair and loneliness...

My eyes, my eyes - my God - weep at the sight of eternal darkness before me...

My Beloved, how can my embodied death serve you?

How can Your Heart - of all hearts - not ache at the wailing cries of your beloved child?



12-06-2005



The laments and wails of my heart seem to be absorbed by the walls of my prison.

Hear you not my God?

I am bound by death in a living body.

My laments go unheard, unheeded.

It is only the darkness, of whom I am a prisoner, who responds to my calls for help...

with mocking cries of delight and tormenting thoughts of my failures.




12-07-2005



My heart my God, cries out to you.

My soul wanders lost in the darkness and my body has become a prison, where the forces of darkness torment and torture me.

My Beloved God I am embodied death without your Love.

I falter and stumble, I cry out and cannot see you in this formidable darkness.





2006


2-01-2006

My God, I am overwhelmed by the darkness.

I beg of you my Beloved God, do not abandon me to the darkness.

I have been faithful to You. You know my heart. You are aware of my every thought; how I live my life.

Please my God, do not abandon me to the darkness.


* * *


My Beloved God,

I am overwhelmed by the suffering you have asked me to bear.

Will you not help me my God?

Please my God, the darkness is crushing my spirit.



2-02-2006


There is no relief within my mind... within my body.

I am beset by the torments of the darkness.

My God, why have you not answered my weary soul's cries?

Why have you forsaken me to the darkness?



2-03-2006


I am weary my God and feel broken by the darkness.

Tribulation follows torment as the darkness engulfs me.

My heart weeps, confused, as my cries and prayers are met with silence.

My body has become my soul's prison.



2-23-2006

Father, I cry out in agony on this cross You have asked me to bear ...without You.



4-09-2006


Weeping, screaming, wailing...

A suffering so great, anguish so unbearable...

Oh My Beloved, I hear their souls crying out - begging to come home to You.



7-08-2006


Father

I am overwhelmed by the relentlessness suffering You have asked me to bear.

I beg of You, release me from this unbearable burden and allow my body to die and my soul to come home to You.




7-12-2006


My Father,

I am broken and confused, my torment relentless.

I ask of You, why have You abandoned me to the will of the darkness?



8-07-2006


My soul laments...

Imprisoned within my body, I watch helplessly as the days turn into months and the months into years of living death. My companions - melancholy, despair, and helplessness - torment my imprisoned consciousness.

Relentless suffering, walking death, torment, and pain.

I walk entombed among you - near and yet alone in my imprisoned state.